Why Trying Harder Often Doesn’t Work

Are you familiar with this line of ‘January’ thinking: “This year I just need to try harder” ?  Try harder to be more organised, less reactive, better at coping, more consistent. It may sound sensible but for most people, effort isn't the missing piece. If trying harder worked, it probably would’ve worked by now! As psychologists, we see this cycle repeatedly and we're not immune to it ourselves. More often, the impulse to fix things by trying harder and all the hard work that follows, even if only briefly, ends up being a setup for feeling like a failure. 

The reason willpower alone tends to fail is rooted in neuroscience. Willpower is not an infinite moral virtue, it’s a finite cognitive resource like a muscle that tires with overuse. Driving yourself to “try harder” amidst stress, fatigue, and temptation is like expecting your phone to function on 1% battery. The initial burst may work, but without a real recharge or a better system, it’s likely to fail. 

When we rely solely on white-knuckling our way through, we’re also fighting against well-worn and well-insulated neural pathways that require less effort and are more automatic than any new behaviours. Our brains default to the path of least resistance to conserve energy and will default to unconscious processes and habits in preference to effortful, conscious, unfamiliar actions. Trying harder is usually not enough in itself. 

A far more effective approach is to stop fighting your nervous system. Instead of focusing solely on the outcome, design supportive systems and environments that make the desired behaviour easier. This may include anchoring new steps to an existing routine that is well established. It may also include strategically reducing friction. E.g., if you’d like to read more, leave a book on your pillow instead of on the shelf. This shift towards ‘low friction’ engineering is more likely to create lasting change because it doesn’t put all the focus on an exhausting willpower battle. 

Crucially, this systematic approach must be underpinned by self-compassion. This is the ultimate antidote to all or nothing thinking that can make us give up on our intentions because things didn’t resolve perfectly or immediately. Harsh self-criticism after a misstep can trigger shame, which actively undermines self-control. Responding with kindness (e.g., “It’s okay, I had a go and I can try again.”) is the most strategic approach. It keeps you invested in the action you’re working on, allowing you to re-engineer and recommit rather than writing off the day or the whole enterprise. 

This year, we invite you to retire the exhausting, “try harder” mandate. If you combine intelligent system design with a compassionate inner voice, you’re like to have more success than relying on the momentum of early January and your determination to do better. By understanding your brain’s limits and treating your missteps with curiosity not condemnation, you will create a foundation for progress that doesn’t crumble under stress, boredom or long-established behaviours. If you find that deeper patterns of perfectionism or self-criticism are persistently holding you back, therapy can provide the space to understand and reshape them. Here’s to a year of kinder, more sustainable growth.